I will start with the story and then move on to an apology. Drew wanted me to move his fish tank. So I huffed and heaved that tank across the room and then heard Drew yell, "Is that Ron, Is that Ron, Is that Ron?!". If you haven't heard we had a rope fish named Ron. He jumped out of the tank and was eaten. Or so we thought. I looked on the ground and saw a mummified Ron. He was perfectly perserved. I guess he had jumped out and was hidden. We had checked all behind the aquarium and drawers but he was hiding somewhere because he suddenly appeared on the floor.
I hate snakes. Ron looked like a snake. So I cried. I begged my children to dispose of Ron. Drew suddenly thought he would be helpful and go to the garage for the screwdriver that I had asked him for 10 minutes ago. That left Charis and I alone with Ron's corpse. Charis said, "I'm not scared of the grossness but I'm scared he is alive". He looked like the same 'ol Ron and so I got her fear but after months he was certainly dead. I begged and so my little girl went and like a valiant warrior scooped up Ron and threw him away. She's my favorite. JUST KIDDING.
Now for the apology... I want to formally and publicly apologize to my dog, Ellie. I was wrong to assume because you had wet ears that you ate Ron. I see now that all my evidence was circumstantial. I judged you falsely based on the moisture level of your ears and that was wrong. I even wrote a blog about it and I am sorry. Please let it be known that Ellie was not complicit in the disappearance of Ron.
I feel like we have closure in Ron's death and I'm glad he wasn't eaten. He suffocated. Once again... respect the boundaries God has set for our protection.